Informal Letter - Band 5 to 7 - Advertisement

Questions

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child.

Write a letter to the parents. In your letter

• explain why you would like the job
• give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ
• say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

Write at least 150 words.

ES Student's response: 

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my interest in the opportunity living with your family and taking care your kid.

The reason I interes to this position is my passion for childcare and cultural exchange. I have one year experince of taking care childern, and I feel happy when I spend my time to teach them new games and my native language.

I am on my study project that I have to do research about another country cultural and tradition. I believe that live with your family not only I can chennel my hobby to teach your kid, but also I can get knowlage from you.

Usually, in my leisure time I often go to public park or go to art museum. Moreover, I like cleaning the house as well as to do gardening.

I look forward to hear from you to discuss this opportunity further.

Yours faithfully,

Kartini Debora

Ayo Kita Marking Tulisan Peserta IELTS GT-WHV English Studio 

Task Achievement

• Band Level: 5
  • Comments: You address all parts of the task by expressing interest in the position, explaining why you are interested, and describing your qualifications and interests. However, the letter lacks specific details and development in some areas, such as how your experience aligns with the needs of the family and more information about your study project.

Coherence and Cohesion

• Band Level: 5
  • Comments: Your letter has a logical structure and sequence, but the connections between ideas are sometimes unclear or awkward. The paragraphs are organized, but the flow of information can be improved. Linking words and cohesive devices are used, but not always accurately or effectively.

Lexical Resource

• Band Level: 5
  • Comments: Your vocabulary is appropriate for the task, but there are some errors and awkward phrases that affect clarity, such as "interes to this position," "get knowlage," and "chennel my hobby." You demonstrate some ability to use less common vocabulary, but there are frequent mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

• Band Level: 4
  • Comments: There are frequent grammatical errors that reduce clarity, such as incorrect verb forms ("I am on my study project"), missing articles ("taking care childern"), and incorrect prepositions ("taking care your kid"). Sentence structures are generally simple, and complex structures are attempted but often inaccurate.

Overall Band Score: 5

Recommendations for Improvement:

Task Achievement:

• Provide more specific details about your childcare experience and how it would benefit the family.
• Explain your study project in more detail and how living with the family will help you achieve your goals.

Coherence and Cohesion:

• Use more linking words to improve the flow between ideas (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "As a result").
• Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that they connect logically.

Lexical Resource:

• Expand your vocabulary by learning more synonyms and phrases related to childcare and cultural exchange.
• Check for proper word usage and collocations (e.g., "interested in this position," "gain knowledge").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:

• Practice using a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences.
• Review grammar rules, especially for verb tenses, articles, and prepositions.
• Proofread your work or use grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors.

Revised Letter - Band 7.0

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my interest in the opportunity to live with your family and take care of your child.

The reason I am interested in this position is my passion for childcare and cultural exchange. I have one year of experience taking care of children, and I feel fulfilled when I spend time teaching them new games and my native language.

Currently, I am working on a study project that requires research into another country's culture and traditions. I believe that living with your family will not only allow me to engage in my hobby of teaching children but also provide me with valuable knowledge about your culture.

In my leisure time, I often visit public parks and art museums. Additionally, I enjoy cleaning the house and gardening.

I look forward to hearing from you to discuss this opportunity further.

Yours faithfully,

Kartini Debora

Breakdown of Improvements:

Task Achievement:

• Specific Details: Added details about your childcare experience and how it benefits the family.
• Clear Purpose: Explained your study project in more detail, linking it to the position.

Coherence and Cohesion:

• Logical Flow: Improved the logical flow and connections between ideas.
• Clear Paragraphs: Ensured each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects logically.

Lexical Resource:

• Appropriate Vocabulary: Used appropriate and varied vocabulary (e.g., "fulfilled," "valuable knowledge").
• Natural Phrases: Used natural collocations (e.g., "interested in this position," "valuable knowledge").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:

• Correct Grammar: Corrected grammatical errors (e.g., "I am interested," "taking care of children").
• Varied Sentence Structures: Used a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences (e.g., "I believe that living with your family will not only...").

Additional Tips to Achieve Band 7:

1. Provide Specific Examples: Mention specific activities you did while caring for children.
2. Use Advanced Vocabulary: Incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and phrases related to childcare and cultural exchange.
3. Complex Sentences: Use more complex sentence structures to show a higher level of grammatical control.
4. Proofread: Always proofread your letter to correct any remaining errors in spelling, grammar, or punctuation.

Contoh membuat “EXAMPLE WRITING TASK 2”

 • Topic sentence 
One reason why having vehicle-free zones in city centres is beneficial is that it helps increase the economic performance of local businesses, leading to unlocking full potential of city revenues

• Explanation
This is because having no traffic means fewer roads, less noise, and more space for pedestrians, which in turn means that the shopping experience is more pleasant and relaxing, attracting more consumers to buy products from local providers, thus, increasing their profits.

• Example
Saat membuat EXAMPLE, pastikan General Idea yang ada di topic sentence dan/atau explanation dibuat detail, seperti contoh: 

• City Centers: Surabaya
• Increase the economic/ revenues: 50% growth
• More spaces: three or four times larger than regular days
• Buy products: foods/clothes/toys

For example, every Sunday in Surabaya the road is free from cars and motorbikes, and this turns the area three or four times larger than regular days. Also, this event successfully attracts more than thousands of locals and tourists to come and buy foods, clothes, and toys resulting in a 50% rise in income of the event

Putting them together: 
One reason why having vehicle-free zones in city centres is beneficial is that it helps increase the economic performance of local businesses, leading to unlocking full potential of city revenues. This is because having no traffic means fewer roads, less noise, and more space for pedestrians, which in turn means that the shopping experience is more pleasant and relaxing, attracting more consumers to buy products from local providers, thus, increasing their profits. For example, every Sunday in Surabaya the road is free from cars and motorbikes, and this turns the area three or four times larger than regular days. Also, this event successfully attracts more than thousands of locals and tourists to come and buy foods, clothes, and toys resulting in a 50% rise in income of the event

Bandingkan dengan contoh Band 7.0:
One compelling argument for implementing vehicle-free zones in city centers is their significant positive impact on the economic vitality of local businesses, thereby optimizing city revenues to their fullest potential. The absence of vehicular traffic translates into diminished road congestion, reduced noise pollution, and expanded pedestrian space, fostering a more enjoyable and tranquil shopping environment. Consequently, such environments entice greater numbers of consumers to patronize local establishments, thereby augmenting their profitability. For instance, in Surabaya, the absence of cars and motorbikes every Sunday magnifies the area's accessibility, attracting throngs of both residents and tourists. This influx results in a substantial surge in sales of various goods, including food, clothing, and toys, ultimately yielding a remarkable 50% increase in event revenue.

ESSAY IELTS TASK 1 GT WHV: Problem with a Piece of Equipment (Formal Letter)

Kali ini saya akan membagikan sample Letter Task 1, untuk teman-teman GT WHV English Studio yang rencana Minggu depan (24-29 Feb) pada persiapan ujian IELTS. 

Well, saya doakan juga semoaga WAR SDUWHV di 04 Maret besok dilancarkan ya

Berikut sample Letter Task 1. Diperhatikan baik-baik bagaimana saya menjawab semua poin bullet yang diberikan. 

Semoga ujian teman-teman lancar ya :

 

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. 

In your letter
•  Describe the problem with the equipment.
•  Explain how this problem is affecting your work.
•  Say what you want the shop or company to do.


Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to complain about a problem with the laptop that I bought from your shop two weeks ago, which I use to work from home.

This problem is that the the battery lasts 30 minutes, and I have to keep it plugged in all the time, which does not fulfill a laptop function and therefore, it has become like a desktop computer. In addition, the charger sometimes has short circuits, which is dangerous not only for my health but can also damage the laptop.

This issue affects my job because when I have to go to another place in my house, I cannot bring the laptop. I sometimes have to go to the balcony or the rooftop, where there are no plugs, to do my job or to have online meetings, especially when my children are present.

I would like you to send me a new laptop soon. I use it every day for my job, so I am not able to wait for a technician to repair it and send it back to me. Besides, I do not want a repaired one because I have used it only for two weeks.

Yours faithfully,
Riri Amanda

Seperti di atas contoh penulisan Letter Formal yang dapatkan dijadikan referensi saat teman-teman ujian besok. If you have any question, you can reach me out to my IG @englishstudio / @eddysuaib

IELTS Writing Task 1: Understand the Importance of Vocabulary

One of the most important points in execution of IELTS writing task 1 is to mastery so many vocabularies. There are some aspects which include in scope like correct spelling, words duplication, and vocabulary utilizing in the broad sense. A reliable resource said that the participants of IELTS prohibited to do vocabulary writing excessive for maximizing the score. The structure of grammar and vocabulary will determine the score. There some types of vocabulary test that will be explained below:

1. IELTS Vocabulary for Conditional Purpose
In this section, you’ll find some sentences that show a requirement to do something. Usually, the writing of these sentences use “if” as the marker of a condition.
Examples:

• You can borrow my book if you return it before you go home.

If can be replaced by providing that. From the sentence above we can see that the first person want to do something for the second one if the second person do something wanted by the first one.

• You can’t go abroad if you don’t have any passport.

We can replace the word under the red circle with unless. In this sentence, the person can’t do something because he or she doesn’t fulfill something required.
The word “if” can also be replaced by another words or phrases like no matter how, as long as, on condition that, however many, and wherever which all of these, have the different condition.              

2. IELTS Vocabulary for Changes
In addition of explaining a condition, a word may has more than one meaning at the different context of sentences. Let’s take a look for some examples below:

• We need some batteries to adapt this flashlight. adapt means recharge
• The Palestine societies have to adapt the politic condition of their country. adapt means conform or fit in.

3. IELTS Vocabulary for How Something Works
We can explain the use of an object with a phrase or vocabulary. For example, there are some steps of making tea with no hot water available:

• Fill the kettle with water.
• Heat up the water on the stove.
• While waiting for boiling water, prepare a glass fill with tea and some sugar.
• After the boiling water is ready, lift the kettle from the stove.
• Pour some boiling water to the glass prepared.

4. IELTS Vocabulary for Writing Letter
There are some phrases that commonly used in writing a letter like the example below:

• Dear Sir/ Madam explain greetings to somebody who sent the letter.
• I would like to….. explain the intention of letter.
• As you requested, I enclose…… explain eligibility which has been asked before.
• I look forward to hearing from you soon explain a response to wait a reply of letter.
• Thank you for your attention saying thanks to mail receiver.                                                            

5. IELTS Vocabulary for Presenting an Argument
For example, there are some sentences that being randomized. These sentences explain about somebody who is confusing to choose whether going to university or spending a year travelling around the world after school. Arrange these paragraphs to understand the arguments.

1. Not only getting a job immediately, but also getting a good job with a good salary. (4)
2. After that, if I have spare time, maybe I can follow a trip around the world. (5)
3. I have to decide should I go to university or spend a year travelling around the world? (1)
4. But, there are many advances of going to university. (2)
5. Because I will get my qualifications immediately and I can find a job early. (3)

• I have to decide should I go to university or spend a year travelling around the world?
• But, there are many advances of going to university.
• Because I will get my qualifications immediately and I can find a job early.
• Not only getting a job immediately, but also getting a good job with a good salary.
• After that, if I have spare time, maybe I can follow a trip around the world.

I hope this article can help you to learn about IELTS writing task 1 especially for understanding the use of vocabulary. Good luck.

Sumber: www.ielts-exam.net
http://www.world-english.org/ielts_writing.pdf

IELTS Writing Task 1: Golden Rules of Writing Task 1

Remember that this takes about 20 minutes. You write a report about a graph, table, bar chart or diagram, using a minimum of 150 words. You are marked on task completion and use of range of vocabulary and grammar, organization and development. 

Do Task 1 first. There is a reason why it is Task 1. From the psychological point of view, it gives you a sense of accomplishment when you have finished it. A common feature of the writing process is the concept of getting oneself going. With the shorter task you can get yourself into your stride in writing. By the time you start Task 2, you’ll then be much more alert and perform Task 2 much more efficiently.

Criteria in Writing IELTS

In Writing IELTS, there are two tasks that you have to complete. Each task is assessed independently. However, it should be noted that task 2 carries more weight in marking compared to task 1. There is a slight difference between scoring criteria of task 1 and task 2. Check the difference as follows.

Saran Baik dan Buruk: Merancang Karangan IELTS

Contoh Writing IELTS

Bagi anda yang sedang mempersiapkan diri menghadapi tes Writing pada ujian IELTS, berikut adalah saran yang bisa anda pertimbangkan.

Saran yang buruk – berikan diri anda waktu sebanyak mungkin untuk menulis

Salah. Pembagian waktu bisa jadi suatu masalah saat menulis karangan, namun cara menyelesaikan karangan anda bukanlah dengan memulai menulis dengan cepat. Akan berbeda, sesungguhnya, bagi orang berbeda pula, namun saran terbaik adalah dengan meluangkan waktu untuk merancang karangan anda. Maksudnya, jika anda tahu apa yang ingin anda sampaikan dan jika anda tahu kata yang akan digunakan, anda akan menulis dengan lebih cepat dan lebih akurat ketimbang anda langsung menulis setelah dua menit membaca pertanyaan. Beri waktu untuk diri anda. Berapa lama yang anda perlukan untuk menulis 250 kata? Jika anda tahu yang ingin anda sampaikan, jawabannya tak akan lebih dari 20 menit. Sekarang pertimbangkan mana yang lebih baik, pikirkan apa yang akan disampaikan sebelum mulai menulis atau sambil anda menulis. Pilihan di tangan anda.

IELTS writing check list for band 9

Task achievement : 5

How effectively the

candidate has identified,

illustrated and reflected the

key features of the

information in the task

Coherency and Cohesions: 5

How well the information

and ideas are organised,

presented and linked

Vocabulary :5

The range of vocabulary

used, how accurately it is

used and how appropriate it

is for the task

Grammar range and accuracy: 5

The range of structures

used, how accurately they

are used and how

APPROPRIATE they are for the

task

All these criteria are equally weighed so out of 9 band,each criterion can be 2.25 band.So,International students need to focus on the other criteria such as Task response and Coherency+cohesions.Since Grammar and vocabulary overly focused,a testee can only have a full band in both criteria which is 4.25 band.However, Most average to intermediate students can get a 3.0- 3.5 band out of 4.25 band.

There is a common myth I found observed from international students that pedantic way of writing will get them a high band and the reason behind this is precise or concise writing.Ironically,IELTS has no marks for precise/concise writing.To learn precise writing it needs minimum of 6 months to 1 year practice because it needs re-editing while one practices.On the other hand,IELTS writing task 2 is less than 40 minutes task.So it is hard to accomplish it.Albeit,many commercialised language schools are misleading students to write precisely or "precise writing".The hidden idea is to extend their course as a result more tuition fee to teach.

If you look through IELTS.org website,it shows "how its marked".So it is very clear to understand how to achieve high score by understanding the criteria.However,many testees are over confident about the first 2 criteria ( task response and coherency) when they are not very sure about it.

The common mistake they do with IELTS writing task 2 is, no relevancy to the back ground or topic question.Next one is, not explaining well logically.Even though your grammar and vocabulary are accurate and appropriate to the task,it is not enough to score a band of 7.Because the score will be as follows ( 1+1.5+1.5+1.5) which is 5.5 in total.However,it can go up to 6.5 if they try their best.

Every IELTS question task needs "reasoning" ( use your reason: please find the task question under any IELTS question topic ).So if one can logically explain well they can surely achieve a high band score but HOW? Task response and coherency need logical explanation and organization.While increasing these both criteria, one can can get 2 band in each which will result as follows ( 2band in task response, 2 band coherency+coherency,grammar 1.5 and vocabulary 1.5,so in total 4+3 -7 band).

I have personal experience from Brisbane for making many students from 5.5 band to 7 band less than 2 weeks.The method was teaching them how to write logically than focusing overly on grammar or vocabulary.However,there are some stiff necked students who may argue just opposite but I will advice them to go for 6 to one year practice under any language school since they believe vocabulary and grammar are the major points in an ess@y.They don't care about the logical explanation of an Ess@y.If an ess@y is not informative with a logical reasoning ,then the ess@y isn"t purposive but to impress the reader with their ostentatious style.

IELTS ess@y require content and reasoning and if a testee has both criteria it is very likely to get 7.5 band (2.25+2.0+1.5+1.5).7.25 will be rounded to 7.5 band.However,grammar and vocabulary are important to get 8 or higher than 8.In my observation,most average to intermediate testees score in grammar is 1.75 band and vocabulary is 2 band.

So before booking a next exam date, understand these marking criteria level and practice accordingly.Check your ess@ys by using criteria list.

Or if you want me to help with logical writing to get a band of 7 or higher reply to this advert or contact me 

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